Envy
by 0928soubi at docomo.ne.jp
Summary: I'm sick of it." GakuHai


Warning: Uhm...not really yaoi, but they're to old for it to be shounen-ai...so...manlove?

Disclaimer: Oh dear god, if I owned them... /// ...But alas, I don't.

(a/n) Oddly enough, this came to me in a dream...XD Just the beginning though...I guess chips ahoy and cold rice at three a.m. will do that to you.

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Gackt giddly started to practically skip through his front door, several bunches of deep red roses in his arms. Tonight would be the one year anniversary of when he and Hyde first got together.

He walked through his home, and found the shorter man with his back turned, sitting on a couch in one of his living rooms. He set the flowers on a table beside him, and snuck up to the couch. He wrapped his arms around his lover, and sweetly crooned his name in his ear. "Haiiiidooo..." What he didn't expect, however, was for the older man to stand up from the couch and walk a few meters in the other direction. "Haido?" Gackt walked around the couch, stopping behind the other man. He tried to wrap his arms around his love's shoulders, just to have Hyde break away again. "Haido." Gackt grinned, starting to think his lover wanted a chase as he again walked several meters away, his back still turned. This time, as he wrapped his arms around Hyde's waist, and sulkily whispered "I love you..." in his ear, Hyde batted away his hands and turned on his heel to glare at the younger man. Noticing the brunette's angry actions, he immediately stood up, looking very confused. "Hyde? What is it?"

This only seemed to fan the flames of Hyde's fury. His eyes narrowed as he glared at the man he had come to love more than he loved himself--a difficult feat. "I'm sick of it." he said through gritted teeth.

Gackt's eyes widened as Hyde stalked into the adjacent kitchen space. "What do you mean, 'sick of it?'" he asked, rounding the corner. Hyde just continued to glare at him as he took a knife from the drawer closest to him.

Hyde nearly laughed at the face Gackt was making as he took out a cutting board, and some vegetables to take his fury out on. He smirked to himself when Gackt closed his eyes in relief. The smirk vanished when Gackt's eyes opened again.

"And just what is it that you're so sick of?" Gackt asked with trepidation.

"You." he almost grinned with triumph at the stunned and deflated look he got from his lover. Almost. If he weren't as downright furious as he was, and only slightly miffed, he would have rather enjoyed this. "Specifically," he watched as Gackt perked up. "How you act around everyone."

Gackt's eyes widened. "D-do you mean how I act around you when we're together? Because, I m-mean, I can stop that. I can be more discrete! Please Haido, just don't be angry." Blue eyes searched his.

Hyde's eyes narrowed. He still didn't get it. "No. It's not that." The short and clipped way he said this seemed to sting Gackt. "I'm REFERRING to your CONSTANT FLIRTING with every. Single. Person. on this god damn _PLANET_."

Gackt's blue eyes met with Hyde's own very angry, very deep brown eyes. Behind the fury in his eyes, Gackt could see hurt, and confusion, and..._'Oh, god. Please tell me that isn't.'_ ...resignation.

"Gackt, I can't take it anymore." These words were possibly the harshest of all, and Gackt couldn't help but notice that not once had he called him by the pet name he had given him so long ago; he was back to a very angry first-name basis.

He stepped closer to his lover. "Please, tell me what brought this on."

Scathingly, he replied, "I already told you. You're constant flirting with EVERYONE. Acting charming and sincere, making them feeling special--doing all the things you did to get my attention, to get me to _leave my wife_ and come to you." A child couldn't have missed the bitter tone in the smaller man's voice.

Gackt closed his eyes, drawing Hyde into a deep embrace. Hyde stood stock-still, intent on remaining firm in his anger. When he had used Hyde's warmth to fight away the tears he knew would be coming, he stepped back, letting his arms fall to his sides. "Haido..."

Hyde batted away the hands trying to hold his own. "No! I'm sick of it, Gackt! I'm tired of getting jealous over TV show hosts, tired of getting jealous of waitresses at restaurants when we go out on a date, and absolutely SICK of nearly attacking every person you look at with a smile on your face! Do you not realize the kind of power you have over people?!"

Gackt sheepishly looked away. _'So that's what this is about.'_ "Haido..."

"No. Save it. I'm done." Hyde sighed, running his hand through his hair. He jumped as Gackt grabbed his arms, gently holding him against him.

"I'm so sorry, Hyde." Gackt whispered in Hyde's ear, his heart in his throat. He hugged the older man to him, wrapping his arms tightly around him and pressing kisses on the top of his head. Hyde did his best not to relax into his touch, but a part of him wasn't ready for any of what they had to end. Gackt took a deep breath, ignoring the pleasing scent of Hyde that filled his nose in the process, and pulled back. "I understand if you want to leave me."

Hyde's eyes widened in disbelief. "What?"

"I've been a horrible lover, Hyde. Even though when I flirted I did it unknowningly, that doesn't make it right. You deserve someone better, and if that means you leaving me to find someone else, then I understand." Gackt set his hands reassuringly on the smaller man's shoulder, ignoring the aching need to continue to hold him that was just under the surface.

"G-gacchan..." Hyde stared dumbfounded into the younger man's deep blue, reasurring eyes.

"I'll be fine, don't worry." Gackt replied with as much sincerity as he could, a song already beginning to take form in his head. He smiled down at the shorter man, silently giving him best wishes, and declaring his love for him one last time.

"Gacchan..." Hyde broke. He couldn't stay mad at Gackt. As much as he trusted and loved him, he just couldn't. He wrapped his arms around Gackt, sobs shaking his tiny frame.

Gackt didn't know what to do as the smaller man hugged him, obviously fighting back tears, so he hugged him to his chest, kissing the top of his head and whispering 'I love you,' over and over again, like a mantra. When Hyde returned his sentiments, Gackt choked up, realizing he had almost lost the one thing in the world he truly couldn't live without; what he cared for more than his money, his car, his music itself, was Hyde, and he almost lost him. _"Please, please, don't ever let me loose him,"_ he prayed to every god, goddess, and spirit he could think of. _"Please, just let me hold him in my arms forever."_

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The End!


End file.
